I am a contrary person.
The Pisces in me says, “Yes, of course you are. You are a fish that swims both ways.”
The rationalist in me says, “Are you really listening to that new age horoscope bull-hinky? Don’t be silly.”
For whatever reason, I seem to be a bundle of contradictions. The irony of this, naturally, is that I feel I’m actually quite a simple person. But I do recognize that there are at times certain…shall we say…inconsistencies in my needs, desires, and behaviors.
I have recognized that I am a person who ultimately becomes more content and productive within the confines of a structured routine. The problem is that word confines. One can feel both comforted and claustrophobic when confined. I enjoy maintaining structure in my life because I feel better when I do; it’s comforting. Yet somehow, at the first opportunity I find, I will rail against that same structure and allow chaos to reign temporarily, just to give myself a break from the confinement of it all. Too much of a good thing can be stifling.
You may have noticed that for a long time, I’ve been quite regular with scheduling my posts for my 365 project. I’ve been diligent and consistent with preparing posts the evening before they publish, and scheduling them for a precise time each day. I even scheduled more than two weeks’ worth of picture posts for the time I was away on vacation last month.
Lately, however, my attention to this task has become more
erratic flexible. You see, I’ve spent my life in the ebb and flow of an academic calendar. Each year, September brings rigid schedules and discipline and structure…in other words, confinement. And so, each year, I’ve allowed August to follow a much more amorphous rhythm in order to temper the upcoming rigidity. By the end of the month, I find myself longing to re-establish more solid patterns to follow, since chaos too can become stifling.
Is it any wonder I gravitate towards cats? I can’t wait to get to the other side of a door, but once I do, I want to be back on the other side.
None of this lengthy explanation is related to the subject of today’s picture, other than perhaps the fact that the building is where I teach, but it seemed like the time to make it. And this month, remember, is about doing what I want, when I want.
This coming weekend is Labor Day weekend in the United States. It is a time for barbecues, college football, holiday sales, and quick road trips. For me, I feel like it is my last opportunity for quiet and shapeless hibernation before I once again walk willingly along a solid straight line. Once I settle into my schedule that will carry me through the next four months, I am sure I will return to a more regular and consistent pattern with my pictures, and I will enjoy it. Until such time, however, I shall do as I please.